Grade Seven

Well, that's it for another year. We now have a grade seven student living amongst us.
Congratulations Stasia on a job well done.
The most exciting thing for her is now she gets to wear make-up!

All Curfuffled!

Well, I have to say my friend has the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen (next to my own daughter, that is). She is exquisite.
Actually it has thrown me for a loop. I am so emotional thinking back at my own time of having a baby and can not believe that I will never have another. Holding a precious gift of life.
My daughter has been and always will be the most wonderful gift I have ever received, but it hurts my heart to think it stops with her. There are so many things to think about though and for the majority I have talked myself out of thinking that I would be able to accommodate mother hood to anymore children. My biggest fear was breaking the bond with my daughter. You see, Stasia and I have travelled a long road together. She has always been my drive for life. Now though she is twelve and I know that is not all grown up and she still needs me and all that, but she just doesn't need me enough...you know? Which is good and I love the stages of watching her grow and soon she will be a teen and I can't wait to see her become a young teen girl, flirting and giggling and laughing and fussing all the good things. I just miss the baby times. She was a perfect baby. Never cried never grumpy she was a happy little bundle of joy.
Even if it was possible to have a child I would be older and right now I have started on a journey for myself. It's true you know..as you become and older woman (well, closer to the forties years) You really do become more complete and satisfied in your own self. I really love the time I am spending at karate, and kayaking( if I ever get out again) and times I get to just do nothing. But would I give it up again to hold and adore another gift of life? I don't know. What I do know is looking at Krista's baby and seeing pictures of her boys makes me think, yes I might. Time, luck, and patients, all contributing factors. Well, I suppose though maybe it will pass and I will just get over it, but it seems to always be burning in the back of my brain. What if? Is this really the end? Do I wait now until my daughter is grown and decides that she is ready to have children. What if she never does and I have become accustomed to the fact that I was going to be a grandma one day and settled for never having more because of that, and she decides she does not want them. Of course that would be fine, it's her life, but what if? This is just a post of rambling I really needed to get it out you know. This way it is still to myself and I don't have to talk to anyone about it, but of coarse you all are reading this so I also feel like I talked to someone, even though I didn't. So Rambling is done and the next post will be happy and I will be over the indecisiveness. No regrets Roght? Right. So good day to all and Thanks again. Krista...you have done a marvelous job...Hillary is wonderful. Enjoy!

Funny!

Funny Dog! I was playing with my new camera again, just to see what it can do. You know, different settings and what not. I put it on the fast shutter setting and got my dogie burning up some turf and this shot was one of many action shots of her. I posted this one, because I find it hilarious. Every time I look at it I lol.

Anyway, the rest of my weekend has been nice. Stasia is at Karate camp, working her butt off I am sure haha. So I had lots of time to myself and to spend it with my hunny. I started fixing up this corner of my back yard into a bird area. I love birds they are so funny to watch. Oh...I will have to take a pic of my little area for all to see, because it looks neat. It's like a bird community all little houses and feeders..its so cute. Ok anyway, I did that and my hunny put up his weather station ( Finally!) Its pretty neat. It has all the functions like wind pressure air pressure and temperature, blah blah it's pretty high tech for a home one. We ate take out ALL weekend (Stasia is going to be mad) So I did not have to cook. Oh but I did clean the house so I did some work that was not so fun. We watched movies, I even got Shane to watch a move that does not have to give warnings of language and violence etc before it starts. We watched Night at the museum. I liked it. I even think he did. Now today it Sunday and I am obviously sitting at the comp right now, but I am enjoying drinking coffee. Yummy there's nothing like a cup of java in the morning to get me started. Actually if I don't drink it I am a bear in the morning! Really.

I have to pick Stasia up at 2:30pm today (she will be exhausted) so I have a few more hours before I have to leave at 12:00pm to relax and take in more alone time ahhh. Such a wonderful thing. When you never have alone time it sure makes you appreciate it. Anyway have a great day to all.

Oh and one more thing Hillary hurry up and yourself into this world would you!

Just going in circles

Well it's been a while again since my last post. I don't know why that happens, but sometimes I just don't have anything at all to talk about on here. Anyway, It seems life is just swirling around me. Same routine; get up get Stasia ready for school, go to work, come home and clean, do laundry, make dinner (three different kinds) I say this because everyone in my house eats at different times including the dog! Also everyone eats something different. Anyway, after that I have been going for a run or a walk and then it's close to seven o'clock. There's a whole bunch more to do and I cram it all in there before I go to bed at eleven.
I have been wanting to use my kayak, but ever since I have gotten it the weather has been yucky. (Go figure) So here I am posting about nothing in particular. This weekend Stasia is off to karate camp. She absolutely loves going. Sensei is always laughing at her because she is always the first to ask "When is camp this year" almost right after we start again in September. It's funny though they work her but off and yet she still wants to go. Try working her at home, jeesh there's a headache waiting to happen. So hopefully this weekend is nice for the kids at camp and me going kayaking. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
I am counting down the days until I get to go to the island (home). I can almost smell the sea air! I am so excited to see my friends and my Grandma. Oh and playland is going to be fun too! Anyway for nothing to post this is just getting longer. So off to work I go. Take care and thanks for letting me ramble.

Something To Think About

Plenty of people miss their share of happeness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it.
-William Feather

Maddan Lake

Stasia and I went to Maddan Lake fishing on Sunday, and this little guy came swimming buy. I have never seen a Blue Billed Duck before so I had to have a picture of him. He is so neat.

Oh, and we fished for hours and not even a bite. We had fun though, and there was so much wilderness to absorb. It was a very nice day.

German food

Chebrek...the best! It's home made and it is the best!

The first night sporting my new belt! Karate last night was pain full. I sprained my toe and my finger and bruised and skinned both my knees playing dojo basketball. It's kinda a mix of basketball and rugby. Oh well it was fun! I can't wait until next Friday!

Having Fun with my new camera

my new kayak
My beautiful Daughter

And this little guy, he came polking out of holes on my walk, so I stopped to take his picture. He posed so nicely for me. Little show off!

A nice weekend

Wow, I had such a good weekend. First on Friday night I got my yellow belt, which I know already said that, but it is still exciting. Then Shane and Stasia went shopping for my birthday on Sunday in Penticton. They came home and they said they had no where to hide it, but I think they just wanted to give it to me because they knew I would love it. A Kayak! YES! I went to Vaseux Lake and off on the lake I went. It was wonderful. It is a bird sanctuary, so the birds were everywhere. No motor boats aloud. I absolutely enjoyed the quiet. I can't wait to go again. And I also just got a message from an old friend. Someone I used to go to school with. It was nice to hear from her.
Anyway off to work I go.
Have a great day everybody.

Yellow

I got it! I am now a yellow belt. Ah such relief I can sleep tonight.
Goodnight and thank you for you good thoughts.

Feeling small

Do you ever feel like you are so small that life just goes on around you? Well I do. I fell like I need to do more, see more, feel more etc... I know this girl whom I just met, actually I work with her Dad. Anyway, she is travelling through Asia right now. I read her travelers blog and envy her in so many ways. She is free, she is young, she has no commitments, and she is seeing such a beautiful part of the world. How I dream of traveling. I think when my daughter goes off to college that is what I would like to do.
I also feel like because my daughter is getting older and more independent I am little by little becoming more alone. I love my daughter desperately and know she has to sped her wings and fly, but if I could just put her into a glass box and stop time I would. She is the most perfect child anyone could ask for and she is smart and beautiful, it scares me to watch her grow at the same time I am excited to see this wonderful person become who she is suppose to be in her life. Jeesh I don't know why I am all mushy today, but there it is.
On another note; could every person out there pray for me to get my yellow belt tonight. Wow that almost makes me fell guilty asking for a prayer when there are so many more important things to pray about in this world. OK could you put one in for those who really need it too.